I used to feel weak and helpless all the time, and the worst part is I used to use it as a strength... But that was a long time ago, I've learned so much more than I thought I knew than. I learned that I don't need to sit back and watch or wait for something to happen, I have to get up and go, I learned that I have to do something if I want something done, if I want something to change... So, I've been trying to change my outlook and its worked so far, no more waiting for something to go right near as much, and hopefully I will be more decisive in the future. I already have made the first step by deciding to come here, now I have to choose to get a job. It's not a matter of if I get a job but when now. For if I have no job within a couple months from now, it could be all over, my life could be at a standstill again.So, I will try to honor myself and my fiancee, I will try to get a job so I will no longer be a failure. I will have something to call my own other than a facebook page and a blog. I will get all of this done, otherwise I will spend every second planning to get back to her, that is a promise. I won't fail though... I can't fail... Because, it's just not an option.
I am sorry if I have been whiny or annoying on my blogs, but this is me letting things out. If you see something that you think you should confront me about, or talk about please do. I really do appreciate the feedback.
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